It don't make any difference to me - Kevin Michael (ft. Wycleff)

This a statement that will make a lot of people angry, and when I say a lot of people, I mean black women. I am a black male and I'm proud to be one, I am also what is referred to as a "vanilla killer" because I like white women. WOAH!!! Before you tar and feather me, throw me to the wolves and put my head on a pike, let me get my point across then maybe you can castrate me at the end.

I like women, I like all types of women and I definitely don't discriminate between the different types of women that ( I wouldn't say date because I don't do that) I engage with emotionally and physically and also the ones that I fuck and those that fuck me. It's just that every race has it's pros and cons, please forgive me if I generalize here but I feel it is necessary to get the point across.

(I apologize for the sexist ads, I couldn't resist) Alright, lets start with the process even before the coitus occurs, the flirting stages. Now neither of these flirting methods are incorrect, in the least, it's a matter of personal preference. Also, to be more PC as we know everyone loves to be PC, I will be referring to Black people as Chocolate, white people as Vanilla and those inbetween as Caramel. To every other race, I shall refer to you as the pastry.

When it comes to Chocolate ladies, it is rather easy to tell if they like you, most likely because they are either grinding the shit out of your skinny jeans or probably because they've told you. I mean it's a beautiful thing, Chocolate lovers are upfront about what they want and they are not afraid to go for it. Caramel ladies have got it down though, they throw you a hint here and there, lick their lips at the precise moment their lips need licking, dance close enough so you can make a move and give you just enough resitance so you can push back and not fall on your ass, unless it's that ghetto Caramel - then it will cut a bitch. Ah, now the Vanilla, they somehow know how to get you interested and when you are they act like they're not but somehow they keep you around. It's like a game of cat and mouse but you're constantly exchanging roles, or so you would think because the Vanilla is always in charge. She knows what she wants and thus she knows what do to do to make what she wants want her right back. With pastries, flip a three-sided coin and hope one of these approaches works - if you want to play it safe, go for the Caramel approach.

Now, the above types of flirting can be applied to anything involving these type of women and men. When kissing, when dating, when in bed, Chocolate knows what she wants and will get her way (though one would be surprised as to how conservative certain choclate vixens can be under the sack), Caramel is always teasing and surprising you, getting the timimng right of basically everything, and if she ghetto, you lucky she aint cut ya yet, then the Vanilla, who makes you feel like you're getting what you want when it's actually what she wants, when you think you're about to leave - she makes you stay and you never can get into her head. Then, the pastries, I love you guys, you're cool too... Never know what to expect from these freaks, just keep your guard up.

So, you see ladies, it's not that I prefer one race over another. It just depends on the mood and most times I'm looking to get mindfucked. It's like mushrooms, the most beautiful and colourful are always the most posoinous. Also, I would love to have little caramel babies one day, running around with their puffy afros and green little eyes, with their big ass... lips and eloquent speech. Shit, they're gonna take over the world, I mean it's only evolution.

But on the real though, Stereotypes aren't cool - everyone is an individual and you should only ever use stereotypes on the internet or in a bar (See, I'm not a total Douche). As always, home with you.