It don't make any difference to me - Kevin Michael (ft. Wycleff)

This a statement that will make a lot of people angry, and when I say a lot of people, I mean black women. I am a black male and I'm proud to be one, I am also what is referred to as a "vanilla killer" because I like white women. WOAH!!! Before you tar and feather me, throw me to the wolves and put my head on a pike, let me get my point across then maybe you can castrate me at the end.

I like women, I like all types of women and I definitely don't discriminate between the different types of women that ( I wouldn't say date because I don't do that) I engage with emotionally and physically and also the ones that I fuck and those that fuck me. It's just that every race has it's pros and cons, please forgive me if I generalize here but I feel it is necessary to get the point across.

(I apologize for the sexist ads, I couldn't resist) Alright, lets start with the process even before the coitus occurs, the flirting stages. Now neither of these flirting methods are incorrect, in the least, it's a matter of personal preference. Also, to be more PC as we know everyone loves to be PC, I will be referring to Black people as Chocolate, white people as Vanilla and those inbetween as Caramel. To every other race, I shall refer to you as the pastry.

When it comes to Chocolate ladies, it is rather easy to tell if they like you, most likely because they are either grinding the shit out of your skinny jeans or probably because they've told you. I mean it's a beautiful thing, Chocolate lovers are upfront about what they want and they are not afraid to go for it. Caramel ladies have got it down though, they throw you a hint here and there, lick their lips at the precise moment their lips need licking, dance close enough so you can make a move and give you just enough resitance so you can push back and not fall on your ass, unless it's that ghetto Caramel - then it will cut a bitch. Ah, now the Vanilla, they somehow know how to get you interested and when you are they act like they're not but somehow they keep you around. It's like a game of cat and mouse but you're constantly exchanging roles, or so you would think because the Vanilla is always in charge. She knows what she wants and thus she knows what do to do to make what she wants want her right back. With pastries, flip a three-sided coin and hope one of these approaches works - if you want to play it safe, go for the Caramel approach.

Now, the above types of flirting can be applied to anything involving these type of women and men. When kissing, when dating, when in bed, Chocolate knows what she wants and will get her way (though one would be surprised as to how conservative certain choclate vixens can be under the sack), Caramel is always teasing and surprising you, getting the timimng right of basically everything, and if she ghetto, you lucky she aint cut ya yet, then the Vanilla, who makes you feel like you're getting what you want when it's actually what she wants, when you think you're about to leave - she makes you stay and you never can get into her head. Then, the pastries, I love you guys, you're cool too... Never know what to expect from these freaks, just keep your guard up.

So, you see ladies, it's not that I prefer one race over another. It just depends on the mood and most times I'm looking to get mindfucked. It's like mushrooms, the most beautiful and colourful are always the most posoinous. Also, I would love to have little caramel babies one day, running around with their puffy afros and green little eyes, with their big ass... lips and eloquent speech. Shit, they're gonna take over the world, I mean it's only evolution.

But on the real though, Stereotypes aren't cool - everyone is an individual and you should only ever use stereotypes on the internet or in a bar (See, I'm not a total Douche). As always, home with you.

One year and a day ago.

Alot has happened in one year and a day.

I've grown a little, I've discovered youth and fear. I've lost friends, I've gained memories. I figured out what women want but I've forgotten what exactly that was so I'm back at square one. Apparently I became a man though I'm not quite sure what that entails except for the loss of my foreskin (More on that in a later blog), I've fallen for a girl again then I fell out of my falling for her and I am currently in the process of finding a new lady to fall for. My writings and scribblings put some money in my pocket for the first time though that money dissappeared all too quickly. I've made mistakes but I'm not quite sure what I learnt from them. I swam naked in the ocean and danced to "Gravity" whilst wearing a suit with a lovely lady close to my body, I've learnt that people are waiting for a slow song all their lives so they can have a reason to touch. I've learnt how to touch, with purpose. I've learnt how to dance with meaning and how to love without feeling. I discovered poetry, again.

I can't tell if it's been a successful year. What makes a successful year? Is it if the successes outweigh the failures, or is it if you have one splendid, grand moment of success or is just making it through the year alive? Is being alive a success or are there certain things that need to be accomplished whilst alive to make it a success? Does a conglomeration of successful years bring about a successful life. Do I ask too many questions?

I think i definitely ask too many questions but that is because I think too much and don't write enough. So here it is, after this year away from Home with you I have learnt that I don't write enough. So I am making a pact with the internet (because the internet and I are tight like that), we shall consider a blood pact and these words shall act as the spilled blood.

I, Xabiso Vili, vow to write on this blog at least once a week and if I violate this contract by not writing I shall lose my sanity. I give you my word.

So to those who care and to those who don't, to those reading this and to those that are not (I think this incorporates the entirety of humanity) on this day, I, Xabiso Vili, took a pact of blood words.

Word!
Til next time,
Thanks for coming folks
and remember:
"Bitch, we keep it cut throat"

We ain't going nowhere - P.Diddy

Remember that song? You know, back in primary or high school. Those tunes that came out and kept it so fresh and dope. Sometimes they were not that dope but those songs still take us back to those days every time we hear them. This is a little list of the songs that take us way back and that will never leave our memories. They ain't going nowhere for real!

Unfortunately, for me my entry into music and song was a lovely young woman called Emilia with a song called "Big Big World". No, I am not a big big girl but for some reason this song captured me when I was younger. I think it is possibly because this was the first song I heard on DSTV once we had it installed. So, as unmanly as it may be - lovely Emilia will always have a place in my heart.



Now that I have so deeply emasculated myself, I will proceed to try and regain whatever masculinity is left to be claimed after one so freely throws it away. I am sure that almost everybody in the world has gone through an Eminem phase at least once. I wouldn't be surprised if some of us were going through an Eminem phase right now, just gonna stand there and watch me burn, hey? Alas, this next song could be heard playing in my room after many a break up and failed romantic conquest. You know I can be your superman!



Sticking with Eminem, do you remember who he introduced to the world? Do you remember the animal he unleashed? You should, he is still out there causing havoc, it's a shame his quality of music has deteriorated. Back in the day, when he came out with tracks like "in da club", "P.I.M.P" and "21 Questions", he rocked the world to it's very core, but now he seems too far gone to even consider. If you have not figured it out yet - I speak of 50 Cent. The nigga who got rich and didn't even die trying.



Then comes my introduction to Mr Timberlake after N'SYNC and the infamous Timbaland. "Cry me a river" was another song I enjoyed but never really understood what it was saying. I just knew that Timberlake's high flying moves in the video blew my juvenile mind to bits, Timbaland gave me a phrase that I could throw around in class. To this day, I still unexpectedly shout - "OH! the damage is done, so I guess I'll be leaving!"




Ah... Then there was Usher. "U remind me" was every adolescent boy's dream. Which one of us did not dream of harassing beautiful young women with monstrous gyrating hip movements. i know I had those fantasies every now and again.



Personally, i could never figure out who was the better dancer, Usher or Mario. To day this day I still argue with myself, but I know that Mario's bachelor pad "let me love you" was and remains my dream pad. Given the opportunity to have romantic exploits anywhere near it's vicinity - I would seize the opportunity with both hands. I digress. Another song of the ADHD generation.



Looking back now on my obese self in Gr 7. I have to thank Christina Aguilera for allowing my self esteem to sky rocket when she came out with the song "Beautiful". Surely, without her I would be stuck behind a computer screen, gorging on chomps and Twinkies, watching e TV porn to pass the time. So, yes - thank you Christina Aguilera - I am beautiful!



Remember the days when The Black Eyed Peas were not from the future and their lyrics were actually meaningful. If we were to tell that to our younger brothers and sisters, they would laugh at us and call us old fashioned. To prove it all we need to show them, is "Where is the love".



How can you not remember the next song? It was so overplayed in our day that it died an unfair premature death. Akon with "Mr Lonely". Ah, the many many many women I serenaded with song. I had the accent and the lyrics down to a fine art. I still get sad about the potential courtships I missed because people could not control the amount of times they played a GODDAMN SONG!!! Sorry, I get touchy when it comes to this song.



Finally, the title of this blog. "We ain't going nowhere" by Puff Daddy/P.Diddy/Diddy/Diddy dirty money or whatever you want to call him. I just can't keep up anymore. I assume at the time of releasing this song he was referred to as Puff Daddy. I sacrificed a dinner for this song - i stayed far too long at a friend's house and only arrived back home in the early hours of the evening - as punishment - I had to go straight to bed without any dinner. But we had to stay true to what the song was saying - we weren't going anywhere. And hopefully neither are you.




Understand that I am not the final authority on this. If you feel there are any songs that need to be in here - just hit me up with a comment.

As always, Home with you.

Walking on a Dream - Empire of the Sun

Why the song "walking on a dream" to capture the essence of this poem? When writing this particular piece, this romance was based on different factors from diiferent people I knew, all finally combined to form that one perfect dream girl that one would want to share a dream romance with. So essentially, this poem is me and her, walking on a dream. If you share this dream, then I am home with you.

Moonlight Loving

I want to fly

On a dragon,

With you

And disappear into the horizon

With daydreams in our backpacks,

Mischief in our pockets,

And garlands of laughter in our hair.

I want to become an imprint in the stars

So I can watch you sleep

From a thousand speckled angles.

I want to be the shooting star

That carries your wish from your sparkling lips

To the ears of God.

I want my eyes to be red

From thinking of you,

I want to laugh uncontrollably at your smile

Because it’s cute like that.

I want my pupils to dilate

At the sight of you.

I want to sstutter every time you say goodbye.

I want to overdose on your touch

Because you give me that sort of high.

I want to stroll on the edges of your smile,

Balance on your lips

And hope to tumble in,

So I can play around your heart,

Be a part of you,

Explore your anatomy.

I want to map out your body,

Find the points that make you giggle,

Find the points that make you angry

When you tell me you don’t like to be tickled,

Find the points that make you cry

Because the scars on your skin

Hurt too much when I kiss them.

I want to kiss you,

I want my lips to travel from your stomach,

Make their way north, climb up your chin,

Take a detour to your cheeks,

Get lost and find that they’re on your forehead,

Travel down the coast of your face,

take a pit stop by your ears,

take the scenic route to your eyes,

slide down your nose

and finally make their home on your lips.

I want to kiss you,

Because it will teach me how to fly with dragons,

Show me how to daydream

And give me the ability to speak to God.

I want to disappear,

With you,

Forever,

To live outside time,

Because some kisses,

Because our kisses,

Were never meant to wither.

Snow (Hey Oh) - Red Hot Chilli Peppers

Have you ever been travelling through your headphones and encountered that one song that you cannot make out what it mean but at the same time, it means so much. I can't count the amount of images that have shown themselves to my closed eyes/open mind state when diving deeply into this magical tune.

Following are some images I relate to the song - you might or might not agree, but it's a step towards uncovering the mysteries of the ununderstood -is that a word?

The Red Hot Chilli Peppers manage to convey a solitary, desolate feel in the song. As if one has reached the end of the line but is struggling to stay on top of it all. It is as if they are calling to all those with dreams that just have not managed to attain them yet.

And yet, the song is seen through the eyes of a person who has seen so much but understands so little. This picture is, to me, a comment on the trivial things we do, the patterns we have fallen into and the little understanding we have of why we have fallen into those exact patterns. Indeed, we are "privately divided by a world so undecided"

"Things fall apart, the centre cannot hold" William Yeats once said in "The Second Coming". How often do we feel our world crumbling around us, how often do we wish we could disappear and hide - forever. Or at least until the carnage has reached it's end, if it ever does. This picture and the song both remind me of the hopelessness and beauty in this loss of form.

Ah, then we enter the dream world, where nothing exists but everything does. Where nothing makes sense but there is no need for it to. We have full control but none at all. Perhaps one of the most beautiful states of mind that the mind can conjure up. Why would you not want to dream? Why would you not want to invite songs to carry you on amazing adventures into your own thoughts? I say, enjoy the dreamland that is provoked by song - it is not yours but you can own it.

Who can ignore the fact that these guys are just too cool and so is this song, they epitomize the sort of people who should jam to this song but don't forget that music has no genres, just emotions. So you don't have to dress like these amazing character (hell, I don't), just as long as you feel like them when you are listening to this track - or you feel like anything or anyone that represents your emotions at the time.

Can you not feel the change rising up inside you the more you listen to this song? As if your very being is morphing into something incredibly beautiful, extremely lonely and ridiculously fierce? Let that side of you out!

All of us can be heroes, can we not? We can tap into something deep within ourselves and surprise ourselves, we can listen, look, feel, understand. Isn't that what most people need from someone else, those slight qualities that make us heroes to them and those slight moments, brought about by art, poetry, songs, moments that can make us feel like heroes to ourselves.

Isn't it amazing? The eternity of it all. The beauty of our insides and our outsides that are all connected so insignificantly but yet, so powerfully to beauty. Be it space, a flower, a song or a person who just manages to pass a smile your way - the galaxies we can find within smiles is the galaxy I can find when I am home with you...

Scar - Missy Higgins

"Now doesn't that sound familiar?"

Crazy how life and music can always be related to each other, within each other...

As always, Home with you.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5pidokakU4I

Wild World - Cat Stevens

After being buried beneath copious amounts of work, frowning faces, bad moods and general disdainful behaviour today, I am finding myself questioning why exactly I am not riding the waves of acidic highs such as some of my fairer halves. Alas, instead of exploring the blossoming night with hallucinatory substances in my system, I am sitting in a claustrophobic room that appears as if a ravenous cookie monster was searching for a non-existent edible snack. The general state of my room, in fact, mirrors the general state of my world and mind at the moment, so it is no surprise that Cat Stevens should resonate so profoundly with me at this particular moment.

I wonder if everybody's homes and minds are in as much disarray as mine, if so, then - I'm home with you...




http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0k6mQyu2GxM&feature=fvst